Explorations of mind, paths, and life


Posted on November 18, 2010 - Filed Under beginnings, breathe, self reflect

I love the cooler weather – the mornings where my nose takes in almost frigid air, and hopping in the shower naked isn’t terrible but more of a frisky endeavor. The AC and Heater are both on sabbatical, giving my budget  a borderline rest. And here I stand on the brink of new changes, a cool new life being drawn in, clean and refreshing – asserting myself as an individual and pulling myself away from the torrid grasp of what has been an identity, coupled, in the last corners of my life where I had protected it the most.  I find myself exploring the world in new ways, and meeting new people, and nurturing new connections… and for once it doesn’t feel quite so overwhelming and scary as it had months ago.

In the development of new relationships, I have truly begun to find things I had not experienced before… and I stretch myself with skills that seemed dormant, unused, almost hidden. I find myself with a new curiosity of myself, how I communicate, what I feel, how the world feels, what it is like to wake up smiling and warm, moving freely under my skin… I breathe in the new flavors of friends, the new opportunities to connect and communicate on levels I have been yearning for. I am encouraged, blanketed by confidence that comes from knowing myself in ways I had neglected… and deeply grateful for listening… listening to myself and taking steps that seemed unfamiliar, dangerous, and distressing to find a new place in my life that is in integrity with my inner nature and needs – grateful for having courage enough to leap.

I recently added a quote to my “Mindful Messages” section on this site: “To be fully human, people ought to have as authentic a relationship as possible with others. They should know that in their deepest being they are intrinsically free to reconstruct and transform themselves, and they need to grant others the same powerful freedom.” ~ David Spiegel, M.D.

This resonated with me deeply, as it remains on the forefront of my mind as I work, play, and spend time with others. We are all evolving, we are all free to change anything we want, and recognizing this in our relationships means that nothing is permanent. I am aware that I can love – deeply – others as they move to evolve, just as I should love myself in those same transitions. It is not in my power to change others… AND I have to decide if I am willing to remain entwined in relationships when discrepancies exist that are not working for me. It means nothing with regards to the others character, qualities, skills, but rather speaks to truly listening to myself and honoring the creature that lives under my skin – in all her flaws – in all her beauty – in all her being.


One Response to “Shifting”

  1. jennifer t on November 19th, 2010 6:29 am

    Loved this. And if you love cool mornings, please feel free to visit and walk my guys to the bus in the morning anytime you like. 🙂