Explorations of mind, paths, and life

Now What?

Posted on June 12, 2007 - Filed Under self reflect

I think the start of my time away from school has been much harder than I anticipated. I had an enormous amount of anxiety during the first four weeks, despite the joy at accomplishing something so big. I have rolled around in an endless sea of possibilities, and as friends, clients, and family ask me what I am doing my mind has a numbing buzz ~ nothing~ I don’t want to do a THING. I have enjoyed the job as counselor, and even continued to volunteer at the House Next Door for an added 8 weeks, to continue work with clients that their staff had no room for. But, I am so torn as to what to do next, fearing the claws of an agency, demanding energy in ways that I am just not willing to forfeit to them. I have worked more on Webskinz, and taken a few clients who have continued to ask for my help, but business is slow and I, feeling exhausted, have done very little in the way of career moves.

The college asked if I was interested in counseling students, and that idea has appealed to me a lot – provided I set my hours. Not sure where that may go. I have played hours on a Nintendo DS – with my son, gone to every chess night, and enjoyed small projects around the house.

What now? I am struggling to answer that question. Some suggest I am wasting my degree – but I don’t see it that way. I intent to work towards licensure hours, just not sure how that will look. I am almost resistant to getting paid for counseling and toy with the idea of continuing volunteer work so that I keep my freedom, get my hours, and find a way to have a positive impact on the world – something so deeply important to me.

Now what? Good question – I even have been toying with the idea of taking some classes at the community college for CSS so we can expand our capabilities at Webskinz. I love when there is a project I can do and be creative in. Sigh – got a lot of those lately too.


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