Explorations of mind, paths, and life

Dream – Education Hurts

Posted on October 30, 2006 - Filed Under self reflect

Part I – The first part of the dream dissipated in pieces, however I remember some parts:

I am in a desert, I am traveling some winding roads. There are sand dunes. I stop at a house hidden in the desert. It is the home of a client of mine (computer client) whom I really enjoy working with. He has someone making repairs on his home. I think I am helping him with his computer. Something about the handyman doesn’t set well with me. My clients family is busy doing their thing. They move in and out of the room, greeting me as they go. It feels distracting but my client and I have a good sense of humor and don’t seem upset by the interruptions. I look up in the living room and see very bad water damage to their home. There are water stains dripping down the walls in large segments and they are dark brown and yellow. It reminds me of tobacco water stains. I brought them cookies, in a bag. They taste wonderful as I am also eating from the bag with them. I look for the cookies with the most chocolate chips in them. I need to leave and my client walks me out to tell me which way to go. I start down the road and I am driving around turns and a few areas where I am not sure where to go by I am not really worried. I feel like I am part of a caravan that I can not see. I stop at a high point and get out of the car to look around at the scenery. There are groups of (not sure) teenagers and chaperones. It is hot, because I sense that having water is important. I hear someone call and I look over a dune to see a man laying in a pool of black water. Someone else calls out that if we dig we get water.

Not sure what goes on next –

Part II – My husband and I are in the office. He says he needs a bell. I start to think about where we might find a bell. I think it is related to discipline for Justin, my son. I tell him we should find one at the office stores, and then I realize that there is an Educational Store just down the road. I figure they would have one. I put on a black knit cap (because I haven’t had a shower and I can’t stand the way my hair looks) and in a groggy state we travel to the teaching store around the block. When we get there I go in and sit and open up my laptop. I try to do a search online for the bell in the stores inventory. Somehow that doesn’t work well for me so I think I need to use one of the stores computers. I leave my laptop and walk down an isle to a machine I see my son working at. I ask him to let me look up what Gary needs. He says sure and moves over, hugging me. I start looking things up and I get a lot of web designer “wanna be” sites. (In waking life we get occasional request from individuals who want us to hire them for web design. They have a lot of bad English so their sites are poorly written.) I am looking through at some that look like they have potential to be good. What is interesting is that the Google search allows for some interactive banners instead of the standard search results content, so as I scroll I can see who had more skills based on the graphic result their work produces in the search. I start to get sleepy and nod off, leaning to the right on my arm. I can feel my knit cap sliding off my head but I feel too tired (In waking life my husband spoons me this morning, so it is played out as my son spooning me) my son is spooning me his arm wrapped around me and tucked under my chest. I think that he is getting too old to touch me that way, but I don’t want to shame him so I am quiet. I wake up suddenly realizing I had left my laptop on the other isle and it was unsecured – anyone could walk away with it. I have a sudden surge of panic that I will lose it. I get up suddenly and walk to the other isle. At first, I don’t see it around the 3 men sitting at computers on an L shaped desk. Then I see the screen and ask one of the men to slide my machine over to me. He does, I notice the power cord is not attached (as I didn’t attach it and had been using it via battery) but someone else who slides it over tries to unplug the USB cord he had plugged in. I start wondering what he was up to. I take the machine to another room in the store where my husband is sitting cross-legged on the floor and ask him to keep an eye on the laptop while I go look for the bell. I leave and come back a bit later (what happens between I don’t know) and I see my son (age 2) sitting on the closed laptop. The screen is warped or dented where he is sitting and I get very upset, as I know it has damaged the delicate LCD screen. I squat down in front of him. I look at my husband who just shrugs at me. He doesn’t seem to care that he could have prevented the problem. I feel helpless that I have to keep juggling so much and I couldn’t depend on him. (This feeling happens in real life as I often feel guilty for asking him to watch my son, so I often – when Justin was that age – didn’t ask him to look after Justin). I look at Justin and ask him why he is sitting on it. I know he is protecting it from anyone taking it but I irrationally – while reprimanding his decision to sit on it, slap his cheak – not hard, but hard enough. I suddenly think to myself, “Why did I do it that way” – I know he did not want to damage it. I can see he feels bad but he didn’t know it was bad. I hear myself saying things like “How many times have I told you not….” He gets off the laptop and slides next to me. I am still chastising him as I open the screen and see a scrambled digital mess on the side of the monitor he had sat on. I am thinking I will have to send the laptop in for warranty work – but worry that they won’t cover it because it isn’t some percentage of the screen (which most policies require). I am frustrated because I need that laptop to do so much. Justin looks sad. I feel bad that I hit him on the face. I don’t know why I chose to do it that way.


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