Mindful-fun-da-mentals

Explorations of mind, paths, and life

Loud Thoughts

Posted on November 12, 2008 - Filed Under self reflect

It amazes me – maybe I am officially getting “old”, however I am noticing that my thoughts are seriously louder than other people talking to me. I am sitting here, and my metal-head Adonis said something about his underarms and all I saw were the facial expressions and his “no” nodding head and could do nothing but ask, “no?” I took a few breaths, hoping to GOD that he would add something to the end of his nodding that would even remotely hint as to what he had said, and I got nothing but an awkward grimace. Good Lord, does he know I am completely gone? Then I am washed over with guilt, which switches over quickly to anger because I am ashamed of myself, so it is better to be annoyed with him for talking to me in the middle of my VERY loud thoughts, than to admit I completely blanked out like a bubble-headed cheerleader on a pop chemistry exam (my apologies to the brilliant cheerleaders out there!) Then, complete awe that I can get so loud in my own head – and WHAT was the brilliant thought I was having louder than any concerns my husband could belt out in the office?

I was right in the middle of a twitter, reminiscing about some goofiness this afternoon: Now that is love – when you and your partner can stand around naked and compare the jiggle on your bellies!Uh, try not to imagine that one too hard, just know that it has profound meaning in my heart that MY belly is “bearably” adorable to him.

Uh, yeah… very important thought. Critical to another successful year of marriage, if you think about it. My inability to listen when thoughts such as these permeate the fabric of my ear organs (and mind) – possibly detrimental – I don’t know. Ultimately, this may have been better than the story about not finding his favorite deodorant anymore. I guess the repair was turning to him, with my blank look, looking a bit sultry and pink (more from the embarrassment) and stating, “Ok, Ok, I admit it, I have NO IDEA what you just said. I was thinking too loud.” And his laugh, “Yeah, wondering how long you were going to take to admit it!” I guess he is on to me…

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