Where She Sits Safe
Posted on November 23, 2010 - Filed Under art, crossroads, feelings, healing, imagery, journaling, trees
Making sense of things isn’t always easy. I don’t have the perspective of all the other worlds, thoughts, or beliefs of others… yet it all has an impact on me. I would like to say that it doesn’t, but it does. Since I can’t control how others experience the world, or how I am perceived, I simply have to trust all that I am, continue with good intention and love, and believe in the growth that I am nurturing in myself, nurtured by the lessons provided by others.
It is funny that when I start a small art project, I have no idea how it will evolve. I may have a fragment of it in mind, but I just go, and add, and draw, and color, and move my hands, until all the quiet, internal workings of my mind have dripped onto the page in symbolic little gestures. Then I look at it, and see what my heart is saying, and sometimes it is better than trying to roll language around in my mouth and pour it onto a page. Sometimes I see where I am feeling, how the emotions of my being are pursuing clarity in that moment – through this lesson – through this experience.
When I was little, my family planted a Weeping Willow tree in the front yard. I remember the big hole they dug, and the leaves they threw on top of me as I lay there. I felt I was connected to that tree because I helped to plant it – planted in the hole I stood in. That tree grew to be so big, it was a mighty presence in my life, and I spent time under it, contemplating safely what went on in my world. It was there I felt I was connected to everything, it was there I knew I was loved and safe. It was there I felt I was a part of – that I belonged in the world – that I had meaning. It is there that I often go in my mind when feelings are chaotic and unruly… because in the grounding energy of that tree I could just feel and be alright.
So, I let go… and that tree keeps me grounded, protected, nurtured… that tree shields me from the rambling imagination that is both creator and destroyer, and lets the whimsy of my mind, that makes up stories and tries to make sense of things, carry on its dance and dispel itself under the strong, encompassing branches that keep me strong. And there I sit, grieving, patient, supported, letting what love there is move as it needs to… and be let go.
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2 Responses to “Where She Sits Safe”
Evelyn,
Dear One, you really need to make a deck of soul cards with both your art and your words. Do them for yourself, then share them to the world…
Through the kitchen window, I watched her safely play underneath the wonderous tree. I felt she was protected from the rays of the burning sun while she enjoyed her small swimming pool. The tree you painted reflects the warmth memories I treasured in my soul, too.