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Explorations of mind, paths, and life

Unfreezing the Frozen

Posted on December 6, 2009 - Filed Under self reflect

I recently discovered a little treasure trove of my 19 yo 21-year old self, and as I went through endless pieces of poetry and sketches, I realized the passion and knowledge I carried then, and some of the truth of my experience that still rings true. Those years were full of feelings and transformation… and on the ebb of the same right now, this particular piece hit me.

I remember the deep sadness and emotions pulsating in my chest as I typed it late one night on MHA’s mother’s word processor (better than my typewriter) and I knew that the meaning for me was not the meaning for him. We had come from an amazing midnight walk, to a field, open and smooth. A light snow almost sparkling under the full moon (which sounds cliche, but truly was brilliant.) I stood, in awe, and as I listened to him walk ahead of me I became enraptured by the experience. The air cold and still, was like walking through rain, closing you in to the very edge of your skin. And I heard and felt the world like a shadow of itself.

1-9-1990

Twas the night
I wore your sneakers
Calvin & Hobbes impression
and a Ring
larger than a hundred moons
ran around la luna [the moon]

I asked you to come
there was magic in my ears
magic to share with you
but you don’t believe in magic
so I pulled you there
asked you to listen
to my steps in the frozen grass
which echoed beneath me
begging you to come under
but you did not hear them,
hear them calling under
under the frozen grass

so I whisper, “listen…”
I walk
I feel as though I were waiting for someone
someone to come walking from the woods
under the frozen grass [he will walk]
white
but you do not listen and you walk away
I listen to your steps
deeper than you can hear them
and I whisper
what you do not hear

I whisper,
whisper in the frozen grass
“listen…
listen… there he is
there he walks
see him?
listen…”
like the ring around the moon
in your sneakers I stand
listening to the stranger
echo on the frozen snow
under the ring around the moon
that you do not hear
because you can not listen

and you miss the sounds
that the ring around the moon makes
when it runs around the frozen grasses
on a cold night in the snow…

Since I have wanted to archive some of these old pieces, so they are safe… so much a part of me… I have put it here (with a few subtle edits).

Comments

3 Responses to “Unfreezing the Frozen”

  1. Rachelle Mee-Chapman on January 3rd, 2010 8:15 am

    Hi! Remember way back when when you joined Small is Beautiful? Well, you are one of our featured revolutionaries for January. I hope the link-love in our round up today brings you some new readers to love.

    Warmly,

    Rachelle Mee-Chapman
    a.k.a Magpie Girl

  2. amber on January 3rd, 2010 10:58 am

    I'm visiting via Small is Beautiful! This is a lovely poem! It inspires me to dig out my old poems. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Evelyn on January 3rd, 2010 1:14 pm

    Amber – thanks – I am rediscovering myself for 2010 – in fact, I think I am making this the year to breathe and be aware.

    Rachelle – WHOLY MOLY – I got goosebumps seeing your email this morning! I am honored, and I guess that you are part of the universe's effort to encourage me to write again. 2009 was challenging in more ways than I can label – and who needs labels anyway? It is time to get my writing Fedora on and move towards expression once again! If I have viewers then I'd best make their time worth it!

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